April 27, 2022

checking in on my intensity towards life

Volcano Aranal in Costa Rica

It's a blessing and a curse. 

Since finishing my cancer treatments, I have felt an intensity towards living life. It's a constant pull to live each day to the fullest, to choose the bigger life, to fulfill dreams I've always had, to go on adventures, to weed out things in my life that aren't fulfilling, etc. 

This fierce drive has brought me to a place of happiness, fun, confidence, growth, and joy.

I'm taking ballroom dance classes, traveling, developing new friendships, serving youth at church, organizing groups of women in a book club and a lunch and learn group, staying extremely active, reading more, training to be a certified yoga instructor, planning parties, and trying to be a good mom and wife and friend.

So this, also, means extremely full days, less money in our bank account, and not so pinterest worthy dinners and house cleanliness.

See, it's a blessing and a curse.

Last night, I was just thinking about how to manage this intense need to do all the things and maintain balance in my life. 

I know I thrive off of action and involvement. But I know I can get swept away if I'm not careful.

I know not everyone is like this. Not everyone feels so big, so curiously, and with such ardor. But I am certain that I'm not the only one with this tendency. And since cancer it is so much more than it has ever been.

How do you tame a passionate for life soul??

I don't have an answer, but I did want to do a quick check in with myself and send myself a reminder.

It is this: Slow down. Breathe. Life isn't going to end for you just yet. You have time. It's ok if you don't do all the things today. Or even tomorrow. Prioritize. Be aware of how you are spending your time and money. Practice self-control when you need to. Be wise. Choose according to your values. Carve out quiet time and reflection. Listen to your heart, mind, and body. Keep using your time wisely and you probably can do a lot of the things, but not everything. Again, that's ok. You really do have time. 

You have time.

(also, keep practicing meditation because I think it is helping)