May 17, 2016

mother's day

For the first 5 years of our marriage, Mother's Day was hard. Hard and painful. We wanted so much to be parents. And this was just one more day to add to the monthly disappointment we felt. Sure I was grateful for the mother's around me. And some mother's days I was in a better place about it than other days. But anyone who has experienced infertility knows this day can sting. And sting hard.

While motherhood should be honored and celebrated, I often wish we could just change the day to "women's day" or something. And celebrate and honor all that we do, all that we are, and all that we stand for as women. Including motherhood, of course. But maybe, also, all the service, compassion, strength, and hard work of women to help lots of different people. I have known some amazing women. I have read about some amazing women. Mothers or not. Young and old. We all contribute in powerful, oftentimes, seemingly small ways. And that should be celebrated. Just thinking out loud here . . . 

On this mother's day, the painful emotions I used to feel have faded. But I will never forget them. Though, now they have been mostly replaced with a deeper understanding of what motherhood truly is and with intense gratitude for the four sweet children who call me mom.

When I have a thankful heart, I tend to experience much more joy in my role and daily tasks as a mother.

And so mother's day weekend was filled with joy and love and gratitude, not just because of the nice things my family did for me, but because, as a woman, I get to mother. I cherish that privilege.

And I love this man who stands by my side.

On the Thursday before Mother's day, I joined Layla at a preschool picnic. We ate a yummy lunch and she gave me this wonderful present.

They sang a song for us and then passed out the questionnaire they answered about each of us. Layla's answers were the best.

I weigh many pounds and my job is to give jobs to her brothers. ha ha ha!!

On Friday, Kacin invited me to join him for breakfast at his school.

Right after that, I got second breakfast with Perry at his school.

That afternoon was the start of our 3rd annual Women's Retreat at Ensign Ranch. Oh, how I am going to miss putting this retreat together each year with these wonderful women and friends!

There were 19 of us this year. Our theme was "Listen". We focused our discussion around listening to others, listening to ourselves, and listening to the spirit. We played the plastic wrap game for prizes, ate lots of food, went on walks around the lake, made t-shirts, did metal stamping, canoed, exercised with Rosa, and I led a yoga class. The 24 hours we had there was filled to the brim and oh so fulfilling.

On Sunday morning, Eric and the kids made me breakfast and gave me some sweet notes and gifts.

Church was nice that day. And then my family honored my request to watch the Sound of Music together. I'm so grateful for these guys.